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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?